Call Me Out Meme!

puzzlingdad

Other accounts can be found here! They may be available on request, but no guarantees.

Prompt-wise, pretty much anything is fair game! Except smut. I would also like to be contacted first regarding potentially dark scenarios. Otherwise, feel free to peruse a random scenario meme or texts from last night are always fun! I'm also down for cross-canon AUs, all the canons represented in my muse list should be a good indicator all the options! (But I think I am always especially down for Pokemon AUs)

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[It's true that a wide variety of concepts do start with experiments. This tends to include death, destruction and various uncomfortable applications throughout the world. Oh, it seems he forget to mention laboratory fires. It's a good thing that one is going on right now as a reminder.

Jade is soon framed in the doorway, wit a large box in hand, observing with as cool a head as one can in this situation. Perhaps he's already determined that the damage of this blaze would be negligible. Or maybe he's a sadist. It would be unfair to rule out all of the possibilities.]

Professor Zoe! Preparing a special class on firefighting, are we? You must be more versatile than I imagined.

[Hange's still in the process of extinguishing the massive flames when Jade appears at the doorway, and despite the risk of burning her entire laboratory down, she can't help but shoot him a smile over her shoulder anyway.]

You know how I usually am, Professor Curtiss. [She yells over the roar of the fire extinguisher.] Multitasking makes for a more exciting life! I'm sure it'll come in handy when the kids inevitably start their own explosions.

[A few more pumps is all she needs before the fire's fully extinguished, and Hange sets down the canister to wipe the sweat off her brow.]

[Well that fire does seem pretty bad. But he's mildly impressed at how quickly it's contained and then casually strides forward to set the box down on an un-burned counter.]

This must be one of those 'new age' teaching practices I hear so much about. [He says dryly with a smirk. With the box set down, his hands are free to retreat into their burrow which is his pockets.] At this rate, you may as well give your class the prerequisite of being qualified firefighters.

You think? [Hange starts, walking over to her desk in the front of the laboratory to pull out a pair of gloves.] It might be more exciting for them to learn as they go.

[Flexing her fingers once she slips both on, she grabs a pair of tongs and a nearby bin, setting the latter aside on the laboratory table closest to the explosion's remains before proceeding to pick at the glass shards.]

So what's in the box? [Hange asks after a moment, pointing at the object beside Jade.] I wasn't aware they started allowing you to order human remains for your classes.

[Jade had smirked as he watched her pick at her mess, and then gives a beleaguered sigh while he goes on sarcastically.]

My, how I wish that were the case, but it seems that my petition did not garner enough signatures.

[And he starts to open the box.]

We'll have to settle for frogs once again. And I'm afraid that still don't quite have a skill for naming the subjects in question...

I'm sure it's all about the approach, Professor Curtiss. [Hange jabs with a grin.] I wouldn't be the first to admit that you aren't exactly the most persuasive guy around.

[Or more like he has the tendency to scare off a majority of his audience. Granted, she seems to possess the exact same problem, though she's far less aware of that fact.

Once she manages to dump the larger shards into the bin, Hange makes her way over to Jade to peer into the box.]

But naming's the best part! [Is it really, Hange...] How about you name them all after all the campus professors? I'm sure a kid or two would get a kick out of gutting Professor Dist.

Oh? Perhaps you could spare some of your innate charisma, in that case. [There's definitely sarcasm underlining those words.

And there, with the box opened, there's the array of dead frogs. He peers over them curiously.]

It's a remarkable idea, and I'm sure that the rest of the faculty would be flattered when word inevitably reaches their ears. But there are a few conundrums at hand. [He throws his arms up in a shrug.] Are any of these specimen at a level lowly enough to truly be comparable with Professor Dist?

[Whoa, that's rude as heck Jade. Still, Hange's enough of a sport to let that one slide for now, instead paying more mind to the box once the latter actually opens it.]

Ah, you've got a point. [She sneers. While she personally has no ill feelings for Dist (she can appreciate talent regardless of where it actually comes from), Jade's relationship with the man is infamous with both the student body and faculty. Most are usually smart enough to avoid it altogether, but it's interesting sort of ordeal that draws Hange closer like a moth to a flame.]

Maybe you should think about dissecting cockroaches some time down the road.

[Hey, Jade's jabs are nothing but loving. Okay, maybe only a little loving. Very very slightly. It's only with Dist that his comments are truly malicious. He won't accept anything less than Dist being the local punching bag. Their past is... complicated.]

I'll be sure to look into it. Cockroaches have a way of being more alive than they appear, but that will produce intriguing reactions from students. [He says with a devilish smirk.]

In any case, we'll focus on the frogs for now. There's plenty of other professors to choose from.

[Really, she finds Jade's and Dist relationship sort of cute, if you enjoyed watching people kick puppies anyway. Otherwise, she observes from a safe enough distance that there's no real danger of her walking into the crossfire, but sometimes she has to wonder just how far her fellow professor's willing to go.]

I'm sure we can sneak Erwin in there, or Mike. [She points at two in particular.] They'd certainly appreciate having the fattest named after them.

[Oh, Hange. Always the morbid spectator. Jade wouldn't begrudge her amusement; if he were someone else, he's sure that he and Dist's animosity would be fascinating from a scientific standpoint.]

Oh? Now that's interesting. I'm surprised that the idea didn't occur to me first. [He smirks coyly, and then he pokes at one.] After all, look at this one's slightly enlarged snout. It's only too fighting for Mike. I wonder what he smells?

[Peering in, she suddenly lets out a bark of laughter.]

Probably all the preservatives soaking into his dead body.

[Honestly, they're all pretty cute. It's why she'll turn and reach for the box of gloves on her desk, slipping them on before picking it up.]

I'll have to say that this is an incredibly high quality batch. Did you switch companies?

[He releases a warm chuckle with her added commentary, and he leaves her free to handle the frog.]

Yes, at least for this batch. I was able to squeeze just enough out of the budget to make it possible. [His smirk starts to get devious.] A field trip or two may have been cancelled, but it's all for the sake of a more comprehensive dissection process.

[She laughs a bit.] Looks like that field trip to the decomposition farm has to be postponed for a little longer.

[With that she sets the frog back down, closing the box once she's finished.]

Well, I suppose we should store these in the cooler before we use up even more of the budget. Do you want some company? I still haven't gone out for lunch yet.

Call Me Out Meme!

merry christmas you filthy animal oh wow that is more than a month

wow...

and this is less than a month!

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I bet you thought you'd heard the last of me

ah what have i done to deserve this...

You Zoe what you've done

wow...

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